I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize