So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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