So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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