TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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