no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My pussy is not your playground.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
