If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
