OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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