Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
