He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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