Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize