Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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