I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I could make wine with my vomit
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
