omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize