is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
