It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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