tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
