I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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