You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
