I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
