Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
3pm strippers are depressing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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