The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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