but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
