I will die if light touches me.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize