she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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