did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
