I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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