it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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