Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
