I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
