Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
