did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
