We named our party play list daddy issues
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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