is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
