You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
