I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
