I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
