: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When are your genitals available?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
