I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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