just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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