lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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