As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
