We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
