My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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