i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
