if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
