I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
