Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
