Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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