we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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