i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
