hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
