who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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