is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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