Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize