Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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