i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
