I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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