Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
