i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
