The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you had me at cake vodka
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
