using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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