honey bunches of taint.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
