Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
