That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
