Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
