I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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