i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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