Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
