i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
