kristin has been a bad kristin
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
