i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
