so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
